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CONFLICT – It’s Gonna Happen!

October 6, 2021

by Jessica Farias

Conflict. The very word can strike fear! It really shouldn’t because, honestly, it’s part of everyday life. Conflict resolution, if done correctly, can grow a relationship in so many positive ways. Here are a couple points to consider when you’re in “conflict” with someone and you want to work through to a resolution. This can pertain both professionally and personally.

1.  Start with the Holy Spirit. James 1:5 (MSG) – Ask the Holy Spirit to uncover areas in this conflict that you’ve contributed to. What could you have done differently? How could you have responded better? Trust me, if you ask Him, He will answer. And really, He’s probably just affirming what you already know. This first step prepares you for the next steps. So please don’t skip this step!

2.  Humble yourself. Micah 6:8 (NIV) – If “resolution” is your goal, humility must be a key part. Coming with a humble attitude to the person you have conflict with shows you are open to hear what they have to say. This is also the time to speak about what role you played in the conflict. Communicating what led you both to this place is good! Being humble requires honesty and empathy. 

3. Be willing to let go of your offenses. Ephesians 4:2-3 (MSG) – The Message version of Ephesians 4:3 ends with “… alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.” Don’t hold onto things! Notice that you have a difference and get to a resolution quickly. We have a God race to run, and we can’t be held down with offenses we should not be carrying.

4. Remember your end goal – resolution. Proverbs 17:19 (NIV) – If your end goal is to be right, go back to step one! Sometimes in conflict resolution, you and/or the other person just need to be heard. That’s it – just heard. If you apologize and the next word is “but,” you’re not listening. Step back and listen to what they said. Through this type of listening and understanding, your relationship will grow and ultimately strengthen each of you.

Words of wisdom from King Solomon in Proverbs 19:11 (TPT): “A wise person demonstrates patience, for mercy means holding your tongue. When you’ve been insulted, be quick to forgive and forget it, for you are virtuous when you overlook an offense.” I couldn’t have said it better!

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